Betting on Thomas

Yes, parents, that Thomas. It went something like this: Mrs. Phisch: "Who are the blue engines? Thomas, Henry, and Edward?" Me: "No, Gordon's blue. Henry's green." Her: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yes." Her: "No he's not! You're thinking of Henry!" Me: "No, I'm thinking of Gordon. He's blue. He pulls the express." Her: "Come back this up!" She refers to the godsend of modern television, TiVo, upon which many an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends has been preserved for the little phisch. She currently has the little phisch in her lap, together in one of the easy chairs, and the remote is across the room. Me: "I'll back it up, but you're wrong. Gordon's blue." Her: "Want to bet?" Me: "Sure. What's the bet?" Her: "The loser has to drive to get ice cream." She refers to soft-serve sundaes from Carvel. We pinkie-shake to affirm the bet. I back up the episode in question to the spot she ordains as telling us which engine the one I say Gordon is. I await my hot-caramel sundae after the tyke goes to bed. Update, 8:45 PM CST: A sly one, that Mrs. Phisch. To bathe the little phisch, she changes in to pajamas and sweats. She then uses this as an excuse to not go get ice cream. She barters a trade that I make the ice cream run, while she cleans up the tyke's bathroom, traditionally my post-bath duty. I retain full bet-winning gloat authority. And I do want a hot-caramel sundae...


You And Me

The womenfolk certainly have a way of making us insane--in a good way--don't they, fellas? "You and Me" - Lifehouse What day is it, and in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up, and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you


--written by Jason Wade and Jude Cole

Published by G-Chills/Songs of DreamWorks (BMI) and Jude Cole Music/Warner Chappell Music (BMI)
© Copyright 2005 Geffen Records


Jeff is bored

Jeff Harrell:

People from time zones west of here should iChat me immediately. Especially if they’re twentysomething women who like to tell weirdo Internet writers how great they are all the time.

Middle-aged men pretending to be twentysomething women are okay too, as long as it’s convincing. You let it slip just once that you’re actually a forty-seven year old tire salesman who’s sitting in his enormous store-brand boxers with a Gateway on his lap, and the whole fucking thing is just ruined. At least I can go to sleep tonight with something truly funny rolling around in my head. Come on, people, tip the man.


Shreddin'

ATPM staffers lead glamourous lives, let me tell you. When we're not unemployed (moi), running our own businesses (Michael and Evan), or working for others (Lee, Ellyn, and practically everyone else), you might find one of us interning for a popular magazine. I thought Wes had hit the big-time when he got to wander around Manhattan, challenging perfect strangers to lightsaber duels. Now, in the August 2005 issue of PM (not yet online), Mr. Meltzer's in print, taking part in the "Shred Reckoning" personal shredder comparison. For the record, that is not Wes's photo used in the test document.


Punny stock

Overheard on the Dow Jones Stock Report, on WRR, just a few moments ago:

"Maidenform is getting some firm support from investors..."


No Danny Boy

In an ADD moment late last night, I was flipping channels, and came across The Great White Hype. Having seen it on HBO or one of the other movie channels some time ago, I left it on, especially since my favorite part was coming up: when Brian Setzer does "Oh, Danny Boy." I won't bore you with details, but I really like Setzer's version of the song. Unfortunately, it is not available:

q) Is Brian's version of the song "Oh, Danny Boy" that appeared in the film "Great White Hype" available on CD?

a) No, it is not. The track is in the Surfdog Records vault, but does not appear on the film's soundtrack or any other released CD. There are no plans at this time to release it.


There is no bikini-waxer/client privilege.

Heather cracks me up.


Channeling the Bear

Every time Jack Nicklaus plays a tournament for the last time, Tiger wins the event.


Real-life zombie attack

This has to be the funniest thing I've read all day. Update, 7/14: What do zombies do after a hard day of causing panic? They go to McDonald's, of course. This photoset has had me in stitches.


A conversation I never thought I would have

Slurpee IM conversation


Actually, it's not about a Slurpee.


Someone is just asking for a lawsuit

Spotted today on the Dallas Craigslist job boards: "Attractive Female Office Needed"


Best wishes

It really helps, when you have events set on a certain day, and you don't look at your calendar every day, to set reminders. So I missed Rick's birthday this past Saturday. Happy Belated, my friend! And I missed Lee's by a few hours. (You could have said something during our IM conversation, you know, Mr. Bennett. You are the older and wiser one, after all.) My best wishes and heartfelt prayers for the both of you.


"While My Guitar Gently Weeps"

Only it's on the ukelele. Tom sent this to me via IM, and I see he's blogged it as well. It's really quite mesmerizing. This guy is good.


FedEx clock is slow

No, I'm not referring to a particular clock FedEx has. I'm referring to this amusing time diversion, the graphics of which fail to keep pace with actual time. The second count isn't fast enough. Using the analog clock on my wall, just above my monitor, I conducted a pseudo-scientific test. When the Just In Time clock reached the next :00 on the second count, I began counting ticks on my analog clock. Sixty seconds later, the Just In Time clock had only made it to thirty seconds in its count. At this juncture, some of my dear readers may be pondering why I went through so much trouble for something that has been posted merely for fun. Well, fun or no, if you're going to pass something off as a clock, at least get it to tell the time correctly. I have seen other such graphic-based clocks around the Web, and they count the time correctly. [With a wave of the fin to the MAKE News No. 20 e-newsletter.]


Yeah, here's a match made in Heaven

Is it just me, or is this a marketing sponsorship that's a wee bit out of whack?


Librarian action figure

Noting that Dan provides the main link to Archie McPhee, I can tell you I have seen, in person, the Librarian Action Figure. The toy store on the town square in Jackson, Wyoming, had this very figure in stock when we were there the first week of June. Yes, for a split second, I wanted to buy it. That was how long it took me to see the Albert Einstein action figure sitting on the shelf behind the Librarian. I didn't buy Albert, either. But my son got a die-cast, red VW Nu Beetle to fling around our wood floors.


Netflix freaking

The Phisch Bowl™ is now a Netflix-renting household. Friends of the Phisch should send us invitations to be added to their Friends lists. We have already watched Sideways and The Terminal, with In Good Company on the way.


When editing goes wrong

One of the local semi-independent stations is showing Ronin this evening. Now, being one of my favorite action movies, because it is a thinking-man's action movie and not a mindless blood and gore fest, I figured I would keep it on while I languished away the hours working on my wife's XP box. (Bad, XP, bad!) Those of you who haven't seen the movie can skip the rest, because I'm going to talk about a specific plot point, and it contains kinda-sorta spoiler info. I realize there's a lot of editing that has to go in to a film like this, to put it on non-cable television during "family hours" on the weekend. In addition to filtering out the curse words, and especially bloody scenes, the broadcasters have to be concerned with a time factor as well, mostly so they can get enough advertising in to cover the cost of showing the movie. I can appreciate all of this. But then they go and cut what I consider a central tenant of the movie. Maybe it's because I am a fan of this film, and have seen it a few times. Maybe persons who have never seen it before won't miss the scene because they don't know to miss it. The scene I'm referring to is at Jean-Pierre's, where Vincent (Jean Reno) takes Sam (Robert De Niro) after the latter has been shot. While recovering, Sam watches as Jean-Pierre paints miniature samurai warriors for a diorama he has created. His hobby, as he explains to Sam. We see Jean-Pierre put the latest dry figure on to the diorama, and we cut to the next scene. They completely cut out the rest of the scene with Jean-Pierre, who explains to Sam about the 47 Ronin, and what ronin were: masterless samurai. The 47 Ronin were despondent over failing their master, who was killed by a rival warlord. So, in time, they gave their lives in an attempt to kill the rival. The term ronin in the case of the movie is supposed to refer to agents who have left the fold of their respective agency, like Sam. I always thought this scene was rather important, as it goes a long way toward explaining the title of the film, even if not directly. It's a shame it was cut for the television broadcast.


Happy Fathers' Day

To fellow dads out there, my best wishes for a happy Fathers' Day. There are two men I need to specifically mention: Bucky, thank you for raising the daughter that grew in to the incredible woman who is my wife, and mother of our child. I am so glad she had a strong father to look up to. Dad, just in case you ever worry, yes, everything you ever tried to teach me did get through. It's my own fault if I don't use the wisdom and experience you passed on, and continue to pass on. Thank you for always being around, and available. I love you.


Priorities

Lee has his first meal, first tv viewing, and first 'net access in his new place. Congrats on becoming a homeowner, compadre!